This weekend I given the opportunity to go to Winter Jam in Peoria. I was so excited to see some of my favourite artists such as Britt Nicole, Tenth Avenue North, Colton Dixon, Newsong and David Crowder. So after church I went to the civic center with my friends and got there five hours early. My friend and I stood in the wrong line for at least ten minutes, then ordered pizza so we could eat while in line. During those five hours I was able to bond with friends from school, friends from camp and the youth group from my home church. When they let us in, we went through metal detectors and I got seperated from my group and was ushered into the area outside of the arena. I found my friend and they opened the doors and I was swept away by the large crowd. We found our seats and the pre show started. The whole concert was amazing. I knew most of the songs, and I was able to hear the song “You Are More” by Tenth Avenue North. That song really hit me. I have often looked in the mirror and saw all the things I wasn’t and all the times I had failed. I saw only my flaws. I saw the weight I gained since going to school, and broken out face. I saw the mistakes I made and the failures in my life, and a lot of times I feel as if I have fallen too far for anyone to love, and sometimes I question how a perfect God can love someone who has made so many mistakes she has lost count of them all. I have asked myself if I am too broken for someone to love. Sometimes I feel like I have fallen too far to even love myself. I realized this past week that I have been finding my beauty, self worth and identity in the standards and opinions of the world. I have been defining myself by my grades and the way others see me, when I should have been focusing on how God sees me. I am the daughter of the One True King and to Him I am beautiful and exactly how I am meant to be. No matter how many mistakes I make or what the world thinks of me, He will not leave me. I have been trying to comprehend this concept all weekend, and I still haven’t completely wrapped my mind around it. But my goal is to learn to stop seeing myself through the world’s eyes, and start remembering who I belong to, the Mighty King.
“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Luke 12:6-7
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalms 139:13-14
“You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.”
Tenth Avenue North- You are More
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